I want a date for Valentine’s Day. The internet let me down for New Years, so I have decided to try a more conventional route. I know, what you’re thinking, Natalie that isn’t like you!, but I have to be realistic and get my head out of the clouds this year. So, I have a new plan.
I haven’t had much luck in the guy department in the past. But it isn’t like I’m not looking.
Trust me. I’m looking. Everywhere.
I’m an avid reader of Lasso, our company’s new in-house magazine that is supposed to be all about how to get a man and what to do to keep him; though half of the bloody thing is filled with advertisements for naughty call-in lines. It actually started out as a bit of a blip and not even our own designers wanted to read it. They soon discovered, though, that if you pay enough people loads of money then anything can be a success. Now, Lasso has a readership of over fifteen thousand a month (though the press package says it is twenty). Every issue, it tells us lonely hearts that men want a woman who has a mind of their own, are independent and outgoing. I read this every month and do you know what I do? The exact opposite. I meet a man and tell him verbatim exactly what I think he wants to hear.
As I was drinking a terrible cup of coffee that my co-worker Rachel just made- which I always tell her is the best I have ever tasted- I was flipping through the February edition, looking at all the lovely shoes I know I would never get my feet into, let alone be able to walk in, when I came across it. It was as if a light went on all around me and I could hear the ‘hallelujahs’ in the background. There, on page one hundred and ninety-three was the beginning of the rest of my life.
Looking for a man, but seem to be looking in all the wrong places? Wondering what is wrong with you and why you are so blue when you should be saying “I do”? Did you know that only 7% of women that meet men in a bar or club end up having a lasting relationship? No matter what your mother says, it’s not you and there is something you can do to find Mr. Right- right now! Place a want ad in next month’s issue for our Month of Love special and see what fate has in store for you. Don’t spend another holiday alone, hopeless and resorting to desperate measures- resort to them now! To see your ad in the Love Wanted section just send a maximum sixty word description of your ideal mate with twenty pounds to Lasso Love Connection, 128 Foxham Street, London and see what love has in store for you.
That was it.
*For more Natalie’s Nook please click here.
*To learn more about the author, Emily Harper, please click here.