Still fuming from last week’s epidemic at Marks and Sparks I decided to finish my Christmas shopping online. And you know what I discovered?
They have everything on this Internet’s Web! You can buy a replica of King Tut’s tomb! I’ve never seen one of them in Marks and Spencers, so quite frankly they can stuff it can’t they?
Once I was finished the shopping though, I got to exploring this Internet a bit more. It’s amazing the wonderful things that are inside my computer (and the utter crap).
Then I came across the most glorious site: EVERYTHING FORUNDERAQUID
And you wouldn’t believe it, everything is under a quid!
I was scrolling through adding things to my cart when I saw Extend Your Lashes Miracle Solution.
Now, I have always hated my eyelashes. They’re the only part of me that is naturally blond (I feel it might have been a bit of a mix up, so I have pencilled it in to discuss when I go… you know… upstairs. That and my thighs that won’t get any smaller no matter how many of those crouching things I do).
And the most wonderful part of it is it arrives the next day! So when I got home from work today I was thrilled when the little box was sitting on my doorstep.
I read the instructions carefully (I even read the French- though I can’t understand it- in case I missed anything). The box said that it was specifically designed for people that have short stubby eyelashes and that they guarantee their product will make you hate your eyelashes no more.
The first step was a gloppy paste, which the bottle said was supposed to make your lashes grow twice their length in twenty minutes. Thrilled I began putting the paste on and then thought, why don’t I put on twice as much and maybe grow them twice, twice as long! So I slopped on more paste on my eyes and then had to get Cheryl to help because I couldn’t see anymore. She wanted to do hers to, but I insisted she at least wait until I was done or we both wouldn’t be able to see. (And even if it was for only a minute, I wanted to have nicer eyelashes than Cheryl.)
The glop started tingling after about five minutes. It started out as a little itchy here and there, but after about ten minutes a light burning sensation started to occur. Determined to have the most beautiful eyelashes though, I thought, I’ve already made it ten minutes, what’s another ten?
Well about a minute later the burning went from minor to major. Cheryl got out our little hand fan and blasted it on my face while I bounced up and down trying to create a wind current. In the end I had to rinse it off at the eighteen minute mark, but because I put twice as much on I was still ahead of the game.
Well, actually I couldn’t really see much because my eyes had got slightly swollen, though Cheryl assured me they looked great.
“Er- yeah… they look great.” Cheryl leans forward while squinting and studying my puffy eyes. “Maybe we should leave the second step until tomorrow, you know, to be on the safe side?”
She’s always been a pessimist.
After a few words of encouragement, Cheryl finally opens the bottle for the second step. Apparently it was another paste, though more like a nail polish, and it was going to die my eyelashes jet black.
No more need for mascara- guaranteed!
Cheryl started to paint on the paste, which was actually nice as it was freezing cold, so my swollen eyes appreciated it.
This was only supposed to stay on for five minutes, which compared to the earlier twenty minutes was a breeze. And the cooling sensation was very peaceful. In fact, I almost felt I was getting lighter by the second.
After the five minutes I sighed while Cheryl wiped my eyes with a damp cloth and took a quick intake of breath.
Excited by her reaction- I mean obviously they looked fantastic if she was that shocked, I grabbed the hand mirror to see my results.
At first it was hard to adjust my sight, as my eyes were still slightly puffy. I pulled the mirror closer and then jerked my hand back.
They were right, I don’t hate my eyelashes anymore.
I haven’t got any now.
*To learn more about Emily Harper and her novel entitled “White Lies”, please click here.